“You’re wrong, you know. You do need someone, it’s just… Not me.”
Gone. Almost everyone she loved was gone, or leaving. Sure, some would say she has Sam and that’s enough. Sure, some would say she’s alive and so is her sister. Sure, some would say that they’d see her again, talk to her again, remain in contact. But she knew better. She knew when things changed, they care to an end. She’d lost; she’d lost everything since she’d came here.
She made her way back to her room slowly, sighing as she closed the door behind her. The room was the same as it had ever been, a corner room facing the west. She used to love watching the sun set from her window. She used to love feeling the night breeze and watching he sky fade from blue to pink or orange or even a bit of purple, streaked like watercolor painting someone did every single night. Now, it was just an empty room, silent and bereft of anything.
“Well Hornbrook. You’ve made it.” She muttered to herself. She walked over to her bed, sitting down gently and sighing as she did so. She could feel the heaviness settled inside her and pressed a hand to her chest, as if she could hold back. There was nothing there anymore; whatever this place did to her she was irrevocably changed. She knew what she’d done to Sam; she loved him and loved him with her whole heart, but she’d fucked it up. He didn’t need her broken and desolate heart. She couldn’t have children, couldn’t control herself, couldn’t even bring herself to say goodbye.
She clenched her fists, angry tears dropping from her eyes. She couldn’t do this, hurt everyone around her. She knew people loved her, but they were better off without her. Her anger boiled, over flowing; she just wanted them to understand, to leave her alone because she was so damaged and broken and lonely and unstable that she just needed space and time. Her mind overflowed and she suddenly felt heat in her palms. Dry sparks, something she’d never conjured before, flew from her palms and she widened her eyes, amazed. The power she despised, now hated for how it had twisted and darkened her soul, had given her a way out.
She stood, walking over to the window and smiling a bit, no longer angry. The idea was planted in her mind, and she knew she wasn’t going to back out now. Slowly, calmly, she let the heat overtake her, body and soul. To anyone watching at her from outside her window, they’d have seen her in her last moments; she looked content, happy, but most of all, she looked free. But it only took a few moments for the white hot heat to engulf her, radiating out from her in a massive ball of energy, quite like the sun. It took a few seconds, but in a sudden burst of flame and light and heat, Amber Hornbrook’s room, her life at Versailles, and hopefully her memory, were incinerated.
[ He nods briefly, turning out to stare at the view. ] I wouldn’t leave you here if I didn’t think you were capable of taking care of yourself. [ He presses his palms against the balcony and leans into it. ] And it’s not that I think she needs me more than you, it’s just… I’m the one who needs her.
[She laughs once sharply, chewing her lip.] Yeah, okay… [She steps away, shaking her head.] Don’t. You don’t have to explain yourself, not to me. I get it. It’s fine. I don’t need anyone at all so you can just…. Just go with her.
I know you will. You’re one of the strongest people I know, Countess. [ His usual smirk tugs at his lips but it doesn’t reach his eyes. ] I came here to tell you something.
I’m leaving, Amber.
[She nods but doesn’t say anything, not for a while at least. Her grip on the balcony tightens until her knuckles are white, but, slowly, she releases it.] I know. When Ari told me she was leaving… I knew you wouldn’t be far behind.
I couldn’t get that image of you on the grounds that day out of my head. [ He swallows hard, clearly bothered by the memory. He walks towards her, reaching for face as he looks straight at her, his eyes filled with concern. ] Look, I’m sorry. I should have been there for you. [ He averts his gaze for a moment. ] All I do is hurt the people I care about and— I didn’t want to add you to that list.
[She flinches a little but looks up at him, looking away as he does.] You can’t protect everyone; I’m a prime example of that. I’m hurting already. There’s no point in trying to stop it, Elliot. But it’s not your fault…. So don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.
Maybe you were hoping I’d find you, then? [ A humorless smile crosses his lips. He stands there for a moment before sighing and approaching her. He starts to reach out to her but thinks better of it, lowering his hand into a fist. ] I’ve been worried about you.
I don’t know. Maybe subconsciously/ [She smiles a bit as he approaches her but it fades as she sees him drop his hands.] Well… [She sighs and looks away, turning around and gripping the balcony.] Have you?
[ He steps onto the balcony quietly, pausing a few feet away from her. ] I thought I might find you here.
[She shivers a bit, startled by his sudden presence.] Oh… Well… I wasn’t looking to be found. [She turns to face him, smiling a bit.] But you’re the only other one who knows about this place… I guess.
It was so hard. It was hard to see someone that you cared so much about going through something like this. Ever since she had told him what was goin on, Damian had been careful. He knew she was strong, she was one of the strongest people had met in his life and all this tie he had thought that she would come out of this. That she would win the battle that was going inside of her. He blinked a couple of times as he stared at her face, his hands not leaving her as she seemed to finally go back to herself. Only to remember what had happened, it seemed. What she’d done. Everything around them seemed to only go worse, not only the wind outside and the storm, but things inside the room were moving as well, even Amber herself seemed to be changing under his hands. Damian refused to let go of her, though.
He stared at her silently as she came to terms to what she’d done, what it had made her do. Her eyes were closed, but Damian didn’t dare look anywhere but her, even if things around them were going here and there and the ground was almsot shaking under his feet. When she finally opened her eyes, Damian knew that this was actually her. This was Amber. But they were filled with regret and sadness. Kill me. “What?” He was shocked, his eyebrows furrowing together as he looked at her intensely. At her eyes. “Don’t say that. Stop it.” His tone was soft, but firm as he squeezed his eyes shut. This couldn’t be it. This wasn’t the only way, there had to be another way. “Look at me. Amber, look at me. Don’t even think about that. It’s going to be okay.” He replied, looking at her eyes, almost pleading her. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to fix it. We can do it. We’re going to fix it.” Damian wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself, but he couldn’t even think abou killing her. That couldn’t be the answer. “We’ll be okay.”
In a flash, her eyes had changed. She couldn’t stand losing herself like this. It was like being shoved back inside of her mind, locked away inside herself. She wanted to stay with him, wanted to stay herself with Damian, but her mind was consumed. Raw power poured through her veins, her eyes flashing dark the instant she was lost. A powerful surge in the wind kicked up, her heart beating harder as she stared up at him. Only a few seconds had passed, but she knew everything had changed. A soft growl rose from her chest, the words tearing from her lips. “I don’t want to fix it.” Her mind was black now, nothing but anger and energy coursing through her; she was a creature now, basal instincts and nothing more.
With a strong surge of wind, she tossed him through the air, back from her, so that he collided into the wall behind them, right past the door. His body was like a rag doll, and her power easily manipulated it. She knew that in this state the very blood in his veins, the very cells of his body, which were mostly water, were his to control. But laying there in a heap now, he was nothing to her. She slid off the table, her eyes hollow and her face concentrated; she had a place in mind, things to do. This weak, pathetic,powerless royal was nothing to her.
[She smiles softly and shrugs.] Not nearly enough. Four hours at most.
[ He frowned for a moment, allowing for his fingers to brush against her jawline. ] Stay in my room for tonight? I’ll take care of you. Maybe you’ll get some sleep there.
Of course. I think I’d like that. [She leans into his touch, smiling softly, if a little sadly.]
I know. [ He smirked faintly. ] And now, here I am. [ He smiled for a moment, staring for a beat too long at her, before looking away, his cheeks flushing. ] Why’ve you been tired? Not enough sleep?
[She smiles softly and shrugs.] Not nearly enough. Four hours at most.
[ He offered her a faint smile and shrugged. ] I’m okay. Missing you, mostly.
We live in the same castle, Sam. Any time you want to see me, you can.